A radio sitcom set in a medieval castle. Estate agents, mail order lingerie and the invention of central heating: this is medieval England seen from a 21st century comedy perspective. Swoon! as young Lady Anne watches handyman Sam Tree grease a rusty hinge.
Sympathize! as lord of the castle Sir John hires the latest top-of-the-range horse, but can't work out what to do with the built-in ashtrays. And get out your dictionary as the medieval equivalent of Gordon Ramsey tries to prepare a banquet with a mandolin and some very old swear words, and a medieval host has some trouble hosting the annual Strictly Come Gavotting competition. Thrill! as brave knight Sir William De Warrenne comes back from the Crusades and tries to buy a castle with a combined dungeon/gym.
Series 1
1. Sir William De Warenne moves into the castle next door, and discovers the lovely Anne. Anne discovers the lovely Sam. Charlotte discovers that she is supposed to stay out of the way.
2. An unexpected lion and the world's first satellite dish spell trouble for Anne and Sam Tree's ongoing romance.
3. De Warenne decides to woo Lady Anne with a swearing cook and a chocolate fountain. What Ho! magazine features a world exclusive.
4. Sir John decides to open a theme castle and Sam Tree decides to save Unicorn Forest. Meanwhile, Anne and Charlotte are looking out for flying sheep.
5. The village pub acquires two new mysterious barmaids as Anne and Charlotte plot to ensnare Sam Tree. De Warenne gets in touch with his feminine side whilst Duncan gets in touch with his masculine one.
6. Featuring an art exhibition, a strolling footpad, a dodgy flat-pack scaffold and a lawnmower.
Series 2
1. Brave knight Sir William De Warenne's dungeon renovation falls foul of the Health and Safety inspectors. Meanwhile Thomas has invented a new rocket.
2. The arrival of a new handyman, a mysterious Frenchwoman and a celebrity dance competition puts everyone in a whirl.
3. A troupe of travelling players, a case of mistaken cushions, a spittoon of mead and a high-speed turnip cause collusion and confusion in equal measure.
4. A heatwave and an archaeological excavation leads to an unexpected swimming pool.
5. Sir John decides to raise money by holding a rock festival in the grounds of Woodstock. Cue the sounds of the electric lute, new-fangled hummous from the Levant and much disapproval from Pope Innocent VI.
6. A new suitor for Anne puts De Warenne's visor firmly out of joint, and a primitive sat-nav and some surgically-introduced helium cause chaos at the altar.
Series 3
1. De Warenne is in trouble as an official inquiry into the Crusades gets mixed up with a Talent Competition and a Dragon of Mass Destruction. Plus embroidery gets a right dissing.
2. Sir John grapples with both an adulterous affair and a tin of pilchards. Meanwhile, Thomas explores the secrets of the universe and Anne falls in love with King Russell de Brand.
3. There's romance in the air for Charlotte as a vicious gang war breaks out in the castle. Meanwhile, De Warenne discovers the fondue and declares martial law.
4. An Englishman's home is his castle and an Englishman's moat is his tax write-off - until Sir John is investigated and has to hire some Frenchmen and a bucket of eels. Meanwhile, the Woodstock Hospital is about to lose its no-star status.
5. When some gangsters from De Warenne's past pay a little visit, Henry becomes a made man and Charlotte becomes an unmade woman. Plus a clever sting and a souped-up getaway sheep.
6. Somewhere, over the rainbow, there is a bunch of idiots from Woodstock and a mysterious man known only as Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Series 4
1. Tender Is The Knight. Sir John fills his castle with wounded soldiers, and De Warenne fills his trousers with ice. Plus a new valet arrives hotfoot from somewhere called Downton Abbey.
2. The Only Way Is Ethics. Someone - or something - is hacking into peoples' private conversations and Master Henry could end up in jail. Meanwhile, Lady Anne has taken to nuzzling De Warenne's trusty War Horse.
3. Highlights And Twilights. The village of Woodstock receives two mysterious visitors - one deathly pale and one deathly orange. Meanwhile, Lady Anne meets the love that dare not speak its name and Sir John meets the love that can speak its name but can't pronounce it properly.
4. Boogie Knights. The wedding of the decade is almost ruined by 200 tents and an over-excited woodpecker. Plus Henry, Duncan and De Warenne gatecrash a rather special Hen Night.
5. Give Me The Flaming Torch. The Olympics are coming to Woodstock, so what better time for Sir William to go on a go-slow and for Henry to hunt dragons? Meanwhile, Sir John tries to get fit and Charlotte tries to get into her beach volleyball costume.
6. A Term For The Worse. Anne is off to Cambridge but Charlotte doesn't know the meaning of the word "thick". Literally. Is this the end of a beautiful friendship? And what will Sir Warenne do?
